I WROTE THIS FOR JAY-Z DEAR SUMMER. THAN REALISED THAT JAY-Z DEAD PRESIDENTS FITTED MORE. I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO REWRITE IT TO PERFECTION, BUT HOPE YOULL STILL LIKE IT.

the impact of the90s within us stil exist ,we reminisce
the abstract of a kiss, essential thoughts that we miss
we were less vicious, and care more bout bein ambitious
our pointless maliciousness, we keep bein capricious
take everything for granted, we tend to leave neglected,
the love towards those parents that we’ve once respected
reflected on it, and decided to ignore it,
turn our backs to who’m we’ve once protected
the broken hearts we’ve collected,
leaving loved ones rejected
even faith is not effective,
from this rage we’re remained infected
sentiments expressed in the past used to be so pure
the vaccine we posses, dont seem to be the cure
our interest only sparks through materials things,
we’ve lost demure thoughts, that helped endure
against all obstacles with pride, cause your never too mature,
its not a bicycle ride, you’ll never be secure
with masks we disguise, hide behind our lies
im not surprised, all eyes allways on the prize
i despise you all, take my advice jus wana stare out the window and wait „FOR THE SUN RISE”


http://www.anotha.com/f30/young-t-up...rstood-t66864/
http://www.anotha.com/showthread.php...d=1#post683181

This is some lyrical shit. Do you record at all? Vocab was sweet

well sometimes...but very rarely since the only way to record something is to record it in a music studio (and that is not an easy option in handy). otherwise the quality of what you have will be extreemly mediocre. Thanks for the feed and reading! happy to see that youve enjoyed it!
anybody else? i really want to know if rhyme scheme wise and flow wise was it okay...

I recited this over the beat. Some lines needed to be rushed, and I think with the structure of those middle lines, it was a bit confusing as to what bar they were on, if pauses were necessary and where. But no real issues at all.

if these are the lines, yeah you cant stop rappin, take a deep breath & sayem

our interest only sparks through materials things,
we’ve lost demure thoughts, that helped endure
against all obstacles with pride, cause your never too mature,
its not a bicycle ride, you’ll never be secure

otherwise the other bars all fit to the beat with no rushing..id show if i could...and if you listen to it with the dead presidents instrumental, it will perfectly fit i can assure you that!
just posted another one of these, id be interested of your opinion! it called lucifer, you'll find it the notepad.
it be good to drop a collab once..holla!

more feedbacks are hopefully expected

yea i thot this was pretty tite. i was feelin the flow. some lines did need to be rushed but that added some extra liveliness to it. pretty decent use of multis.
i was thrown off a couple times cuz some lines jus strait up didnt rhyme. but overall it was tite

thanks for the feedback lilfrnaky.., well there are some bars that the end of the line doesn rhyme but i made that puposely cause i felt like, wanted to express something and making it rhyme would have made me change my thought in the content. and yet again, with the dead presidents instr. it does fit, youll jus have to rap it quicker. thaks again and up for more

this is pretty illy nice job

Yeh this is pretty decent.. straight forward verse.. def.. record it n post it up somewhere!!

Thanks a lot...i prolly will..